I’ve been doing a lot of processing of emotions over here. My head hurts too, UR!

I am in such a weird place and I hate where I am. My actions have to catch up with my heart.

I know exactly what I want.

I sort of know how to get it.

I have a hard time putting it into action or even realizing I’m reverting to old ways.

I have seen dating be so hard and technical for anyone else. But I guess I am trying to achieve a pretty high level deal here, so it has to be this way.

Sometimes I do miss M. I miss the comfort we had together. I miss the family sort of stuff. Going through the dating process is actually getting much harder and not much easier. You would think I was a pro by now.

I don’t want to come off as desperate, but I desperately want to settle down. I am no longer in my 20’s. This lifestyle stinks. I look at all these stupid profiles online

“ I’ve been to 72 counties and I love to travel!”

Well, I am a single mom with a career and responsibilities and I’ve been to like 3 countries and rarely ever travel. I like family days and activities, I like to sit down to a home cooked meal with the ones I love. Sometimes I actually enjoy grocery shopping and losing my lawn.

I don’t want excitement. I want boring. Because boring and stable is so beautiful and thrilling for me.

I did not accept the offer from that guy for Sunday. The other guy I was supposed to meet yesterday just ghosted me.

No one has deserved my time of day yet. I know I need to carry myself in such a way. I do at that I need to stop being readily available, forgiving and accommodating, especially to people I don’t even know.

Really, I don’t know if I even want to be dating. I kind of like my boring life. It’s lonely, but I like the security I give myself. Not hoping or expecting someone cares or someone will call or someone wants to be with me. Unless someone. Ones along as equally as boring as me and likes the boring stuff and treats me as I deserve to be treated, well, then I’ve got my doggy who loves me more than anyone and is cuddling with me right now.

My daughter on the other hand just hung up on me because I said she could not have acrylic nails, lol. Lord save me!