This is the most negative I have felt since BD in terms of having no hope. I am starting to think that maybe all these years H was really a jerk and I never knew it because he was never this angry at me. Now that he is angry at me because I won't agree to a D, I feel like I am seeing the real H. And when I think back, there were times when the real H was peeking through subtly over the years. I don't know. Maybe I am just having a really bad day.
Weekends are the worst because H stays out even more than during the week. It drives me insane. The thought is coming to me more and more that it would be best for him to get his own place. The kids and I should not be subjected to him in this unstable, dysfunctional state. My youngest has started asking more questions about his whereabouts and I refuse to lie to her and ruin my relationship with her. I tell her I do not know (unless I do which is rare). She seems a lot more concerned about where he is than she had been previously.
Last edited by job; 01/25/2002:32 PM. Reason: edited a word for the poster
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
