Hi there, I'm new here and I'm not fully sure what info you're in need of. I'm in my late 30s, husband is early 40s. We've been together for 17 years and have two kids - 4 and 6. In those years, I've lost my job, went to university and got 2 degrees, he went back to college and graduated, we've bought two houses, he had an affair, entered recovery for alcohol, dealt with the death of his mom and we've dealt with infertility. We haven't communicated well in the past and both became complacent in our marriage. Things have been rough for the last couple of months. Before Christmas, he told me he wanted to get through Christmas and then talk about our marriage. January 4th he told he wanted to separate. Jan 7th I told him I wanted to work on our marriage and wasn't ready to give up, that I had been hopeful this whole time that things would work out. That when he did little things for me (specific example I gave was buying me the little surprise bags of candy that my corner store sells) it makes me believe that he still loves me. Jan 8th I bought the book and started devouring it. I'm trying not to pursue, not to let his moods affect me etc. In the past 2 weeks, he invited me out for breakfast, texted to pick me up coffee on his way home (hasn't happened in over 6 months) and bought me a bag of candy. I was trying so hard not to get my hopes up.
Last night he told me that nothing has changed and he's going to start apartment hunting.
I am gutted.
I don't know what to do.
I don't want my marriage to end. We have been through so much [censored], I can't just give up.
