I was just making sure your head was on fairly straight....
I did however, have a dream last night, that you had an internet mail address that was your user name here, with a larger domain that started with a "g", or a "y" after it..
And I know there isn't anyway that could be true though...
Because if it were. then you could just say yes or no...and move along fairly un-noticed.
Anywhooo.....How do you notice the old man creepin up again ??
Usually it was, like yesterday.....I got home and the dishwasher is relatively empty, and there are dishes she's used sitting in the sink.I could feel the old man coming up as I started to think that it was ridiculous and that it started to upset me. Then I remembered......IT DOESN'T MATTER. It is no big deal! Take the 2 minute and rinse them and put them in the dishwasher out of love for her. Because I love her immensely.
She came home a few minutes later and said: "HON! I was going to take care of those dishes." I said: "Its ok, I can help out around here."
I have had very few slip up in the last two years, maybe twice when I didn't catch it before I started to behave in my old pattern. But then I caught it corrected it, and if necessary apologized for it.
Life is so much better today..............
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
Just wanted to say "Hey!". I appreciated all your generosity in my thread, and glad you've stayed strong on the good work that's making your marriage succeed. Cheers, mate.
Just wanted to say "Hey!". I appreciated all your generosity in my thread, and glad you've stayed strong on the good work that's making your marriage succeed. Cheers, mate.
Thanks CW! Probably the biggest learning I have made through the last 2 years is that a MR requires hard work. All the time. NOT just when you are in crisis. Most of the sitches here are because one or both spouses at some point stopped working on the MR. They require constant work.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
...But I continue to DB. Newcomers this is something I firmly believe in. That the minute you stop GAL...180ing....being healthily self-differentiated is the minute you start heading towards another BD. So those of you that are Ring and piecing, never stop DBing!!
Thanks for sharing this nugget of wisdom. Committing now to a lifetime of working on MYSELF, even if this M ends and I need to move on to a new relationship! I lost myself completely in parenting and the hustle and bustle of life, but I will not let that happen again. I am trying to get back to the person I was before marriage. I told my DS the other day that I actually used to be a fun-loving, bubbly person who smiled a lot; it is hard to believe that now but I am changing that to get back to that person. I miss her and want her back even more than I want H back.
H and Me - Both 45; S13 and D9 BD - 11/2019 Married 14 years; Together 20 years
