My wife doesn't want to fix it

[SteveLW]

I am listening to all of you. The situation is getting a little volatile now and the MBR issue will not help.

I have no doubt that she has lost respect for me in someways. When she BD she expected me to leave and was very much against me staying. I am not ruling out the MBR and I now know I shouldn't have given it up. At this moment it will not help the current sitch. Like a lot of people have said it is a marathon and I have put myself behind the starting line.

I do really appreciate all the advice everyone has given. I just got here a week too late

It's never too late to start DB'ing. You say the MBR issue will not help, yet you have everyone telling you it will. You know what's stopping you?... Fear. You are so scared that you're gonna piss your WW off that you won't do it. It's like you're scared that she'll want to get a divorce or something. Oh wait... she already does. You've got nothing to lose, man. And plenty to gain. Starting with the respect you deserve. And so what if she leaves? Honestly, you'll be better off. Detaching will become so much easier. Be a man and take back your bedroom. She's got complete control over you and she's loving it. And yes, she will be mad when you do it, because she's not getting everything she wants. And even though it may not seem like it, that's not a bad thing. Her fantasy has to crumble. It's not gonna happen with you baking cakes and feeding them to her. Shut down the bakery and be a man that commands respect. A man only a fool would leave. You can't nice her back, so quit trying. Get your balls back, focus on you, and forget about what she might do. That has to be your first step, or you're gonna be in limbo for a loooooong time...

Bud, mtb is a DBing rockstar. You really need to pay heed here.

I am also detecting some strong Nice guy tendencies here. You may want to pick up the book No More Mr. Nice Guy. Here is the thing: You cannot nice her back. Walking on eggshells, tiptoeing around her is not going to turn your sitch around. You have to man up, stand up for yourself, learn to become an alpha male. Women do not fall for the pushover. Remember the good looking girls in high school. They were either dating overly macho jocks, or bad boys. Women are drawn to the guy that has either a little bit of bad side, or that thinks highly of himself. I believe that is one reason we are seeing so many divorces initiated by women today. The ones that thought the nice guy was sweet eventually see these other guys that are wild, or uber confident and think, I am with the wrong guy!

So stop worrying, as others have said, about upsetting her. Angering her. Or rocking the boat. Rock that boat! Just do it in a way that you can't be accused of abuse.

Tonight, move all of your stuff back in to the MBR. At bedtime, go get in the bed. WHen she protests simply say "I like sleeping here. You are welcome to as well, or you can sleep somewhere else." SHe will curse you out, yell, stomp her feet, but in the end she will respect you.