It starts by taking back the MBR. I noticed you've dismissed that. I can tell you that if you do not do that you have close to a 0% of remaining married to this woman.
You also now know what her feelings on MC are. Did you see what I sent about what you should say about MC? You need to tell her that ASAP. Don't get in a discussion about. Say the statement above. When she starts complaining, etc you listen and validate. Then have a reason to end the conversation. "Sorry, I have somewhere I need to be."
Have you read sandi's rules? It doesn't seem that you have. Sandi gives good guidance on giving her space while living together. HINT: It is all about GAL! Stop sitting at home so much. BE BUSY!
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I am listening to all of you. The situation is getting a little volatile now and the MBR issue will not help.
I have no doubt that she has lost respect for me in someways. When she BD she expected me to leave and was very much against me staying. I am not ruling out the MBR and I now know I shouldn't have given it up. At this moment it will not help the current sitch. Like a lot of people have said it is a marathon and I have put myself behind the starting line.
I do really appreciate all the advice everyone has given. I just got here a week too late
I am listening to all of you. The situation is getting a little volatile now and the MBR issue will not help.
You are focuing on the wrong things.
You have 5 pages of assistance telling you its about respect - and focus on what you can control.... and you are ignoring this becuase its a "little volatile"... Reading between the lines, you don't want to rock the boat?
That boat has long since sailed ( as LH19 says - YEARS ) - so stop worrying about annoying her or upsetting her.. Focus on you and that all important respect.
Previous username - Helpme123.. A name chosen at a desperate time..
Now Mr Brightside.. coming out of my cage, and doing just fine.
I am listening to all of you. The situation is getting a little volatile now and the MBR issue will not help.
I have no doubt that she has lost respect for me in someways. When she BD she expected me to leave and was very much against me staying. I am not ruling out the MBR and I now know I shouldn't have given it up. At this moment it will not help the current sitch. Like a lot of people have said it is a marathon and I have put myself behind the starting line.
I do really appreciate all the advice everyone has given. I just got here a week too late
It's never too late to start DB'ing. You say the MBR issue will not help, yet you have everyone telling you it will. You know what's stopping you?... Fear. You are so scared that you're gonna piss your WW off that you won't do it. It's like you're scared that she'll want to get a divorce or something. Oh wait... she already does. You've got nothing to lose, man. And plenty to gain. Starting with the respect you deserve. And so what if she leaves? Honestly, you'll be better off. Detaching will become so much easier. Be a man and take back your bedroom. She's got complete control over you and she's loving it. And yes, she will be mad when you do it, because she's not getting everything she wants. And even though it may not seem like it, that's not a bad thing. Her fantasy has to crumble. It's not gonna happen with you baking cakes and feeding them to her. Shut down the bakery and be a man that commands respect. A man only a fool would leave. You can't nice her back, so quit trying. Get your balls back, focus on you, and forget about what she might do. That has to be your first step, or you're gonna be in limbo for a loooooong time...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
