One of the most common and damaging emotions that we experience when we find ourselves in these situations, is FEAR. I’ll share some of the things that I feared and the consequences of those fears while I navigated through my sitch.
Perhaps you will find this to be helpful.
Below are things that I feared. -Pushing my W further away(The reality was that she was pushed far enough to BD me) -The Unknown -Embarrassment -Being Judged -Someone else raising my children -Financially Supporting my W to live her fantasy -Raising my children on my own without any support -financial struggle -Losing a large amount of my retirement -legal cost
The consequences of fear/Negative Effects of Fear -I was progressively incapacitated(paralyzed). -Poor decision making/appeasement (My biggest regret) -Lack of confidence -Worry/Anxiety -Health Issues -Regret/Guilt
All the above became more costly when something wasn’t done about it. Especially don’t appease. You will get steamrolled. The WAS will likely use the threat of legal action or divorce as a tool to keep you in fear and their appeasement. That is the biggest reason to seek legal advice. Once you know your rights, you have just armed yourself with important knowledge. I can assure you, it will alleviate some unnecessary anxiety.
It is like a bully dynamic. Until the person getting bullied takes a stand, it will continue, and your fear will allow you to be taken advantage of. Ultimately, it will slow down your growth and your healing.
So, head up, shoulders back. Start making the best of life. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes along your journey. Trying to be perfect is all too consuming. Besides, the most beautiful and rewarding parts are life, can be the result of overcoming some of the most challenging obstacles.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
