Like a week ago I snapped on the 17 year old. I felt terrible. But it had been a bad day. And god love her she still loves me so much, and wants to tell me about everything all the time, and my head was not in the game at all. I apologized. She was angry for an hour or so but eventually climbed in bed with me to watch TV. S10 of yours is little, but they know. Button pushing could've been his own hurt. Could've been a way to get you out of your head and to focus on him negative attention is still attention. We all slip, mamma, don't beat yourself up about it too much.
You're dealing with tough stuff with your H. My current H just lost his mind, MLC, wayward, who knows, but my daughter's father was an addict and depressed. It's not an easy road. And you can't fix one with out fixing the other. I never finished all my steps in al-anon, the philosophy is really for people who were still deeply embedded in a relationship with their addicted loved one. About 10-12 meetings in for me I was already quietly moving my stuff out. And was going weeks at a time with out speaking to him like at all. But it did give me a lot of tools to deal with him, and the anger and resentment. It sets you up with a community of people dealing with the same thing, and the kids an opportunity to meet other kids with similar family dynamics, and they can eventually participate in ala-teen. This DB community is great to support you for figuring out you, and what you want, and support for the ups and downs, and your plan to go forward, but you have kids with an alcoholic father. No one here is going to be able to support you appropriately through that. You need a community of people who are doing that and have done it. In my real world community they have "beginners" meetings that you can come and go as you please from, they'll tell you when you're ready to transition to a real group and help you find one. Perhaps you need something like that where you aren't fully committed but you can drop in and see if that's a good path for you.
