Newlywed and in crisis

[SteveLW]

Thank you Alison and Ready2Change for the response,

I can understand how the laws of my country favour the H and I sincerely do not wish to impose on W's rights and freedom. Ever since the separation, she has stopped asking the question "when will you let me go?" and all talk of R and D has stopped as well. So everything is kind of in a limbo right now. She has plenty of space at the moment and I have mine. I will try my best to not pursue and work on myself.

Also, when I said "when the time comes", it meant two things, either

(1) I couldn't bear it anymore and decided to end it myself (hopefully not)

or (2) for when she asks for D again

Like I said, she has not asked for D for a while and the next time she does then I'll have to be firm and allow it. However, I'll ask her to sort out the D papers on her own and will neither help nor obstruct (like what some of you have suggested). At the end I'll just sign the papers and give my "consent".

Side note: it feels rather surreal for me to be thinking and talking about D. Heck, my whole sitch sounds surreal to me. Especially given that I am 28 years old. I am probably the youngest member here. lol. So like, I would be 28 AND also a divorcee..? Can't help but think I should be happily married right now but nope, god has a different plan I guess. Not trying to sound like a defeatist, just thinking about how unexpected and surreal things are right now. This is what I have to deal with. Gotta be strong.

Wait, #2 is just words. Why would that be "when the time comes" for anything?

Her: "I want a D, I already told you this."
You: "Yes, I understand that you feel that D is what you want." (Or some other validating statement.)

WWs/WAWs will continue to say this throughout the sitch. My W repeated dozens of times during our sitch. Maybe 100s. ACTIONS are what matter. LBSs get so hung up on the words of the WS/WAS, it is like putting meaning into the words of a crazy person.

2 should read: When she takes action to D me. Who cares what she says? This reminds me of a quote from the Bible:

James 2:15,16
[15] If a brother or sister be naked, and destitute of daily food,
[16] And one of you say unto them, Depart in peace, be ye warmed and filled; notwithstanding ye give them not those things which are needful to the body; what doth it profit?

Words are meaningless and empty without action to backe them up.

Also, there are a lot of 28 year-olds going through this or something similar, and divorced. Just very few of them have the wisdom to seek this forum and works of MWD out to help them.