OK well that's a step in the right direction but keep in mind that validating is NOT accepting blame. It is seeking to understand and acknowledge her feelings. It's not agreeing/ disagreeing/ negotiating/ reasoning/ explaining/ etc. So she says she doesn't think you can stop your controlling behavior, you say something like "you sound frustrated about this, is that how you feel?" (seek to understand her feelings) "Yes it's been very frustrating and it makes me angry, it's been going on for years." "I hear you saying you've been frustrated and angry (mirror back) for years, I am sorry you've been struggling with this." Note that you're not saying you're sorry that you did something wrong, you are simply acknowledging her feelings and allowing her to have them. Most husbands spend so much time trying to argue and convince their wife their feelings are wrong that validation will seem like a shocking change to the wife and she won't trust that it's genuine for quite some time.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
