Keeping my emotions in check seems to be the hardest at the moment.
Mindfulness and meditation has helped me a lot - you might want to consider checking out some meditation apps. They help you to stay present, in the current moment.
Your emotions are going to be all over the place, for a long time. You have to figure out what works best for you for dealing with them. Given that W is mentally checked out of the R right now, I would advise against showing any emotions in front of her. Practice not reacting when she says something to you, just listen to the words, not how they are spoken.
Also - the validation thread that Cadet posted to you is a golden one. Read it backwards and forwards. Sandy's rules also.
Originally Posted by BudVegas
In my panic when this first happened just over a week ago i begged for MC. As I said she has now agreed but only to help me come to terms with what is happening. The advice so far is to not have MC. I am a bit stuck on what to do here.
Some people here have differing opinions on MC. I'll give you mine - but ultimately it is up to you to decide what you want to do.
I decided I was not interested in attending MC with someone who did not want to work on the R. It was a self-protection thing - I did not need to hear all the confusing and hurtful things that W was thinking, and especially in front of a MC who had no clue what our lives were about prior to BD. I did not need a third party commenting on our personal lives when I knew that W was on her way out the door.
Now, if W had decided that she wanted to seriously work on the R, that would have been a different story.
Again, it is your choice. That's just my take on it.
