Switched On

[Dawn70]

From my own personal experience, telling him that you know or asking about it isn't going to give you the results you want. I point blank asked my XH when he said he wanted a divorce if there was someone else and he, of course, said no. For 3 months, I had no idea and actually believed him. Exactly 2 weeks after our D was final, I found out there had been another woman all along when he introduced her to the world as his girlfriend. Now, his admittance that he had a gf so quickly after D was what raised a red flag for a lot of people, but to this day, he blames me for some of our couple friends turning their backs to him when it all happened, saying I lied about him being with someone else to make him look bad and that I turned people against him. (Uh no, his lovey dovey "this is the best thing that ever happened to me" posts on facebook with said woman were what shot up red flags. I didn't have to even open my mouth to anyone about anything...he did it all himself because actions speak louder than words and he somehow forgot that.)

I get wanting closure. I think it is very natural to want it. But, telling him you know or knew isn't going to achieve that for you. Try to find closure for yourself independent of him, if that makes sense. In the DB vernacular, find a way to just drop the rope, so to speak and focus on yourself and he will gradually fade from your thoughts, outside of things you have to deal with him for related to kids.