Core, I agree with Jac. If she thinks you're controlling then the best play here would be to ask her if she would like your assistance and let it be her choice. My XW wanted to do things herself and be more independent after BD. And she's still like that all these years later. But at times it's just beyond her abilities (she has arthritis). Just a couple of weeks ago she asked for help with her washing machine. She had done all the research and knew what was wrong with it and what parts to order, but couldn't take it apart herself. I'll help her when she asks, and I'll sometimes offer if she mentions something she needs to do. But I always make sure it's HER choice rather than just jumping in and doing it like I used to.
