I wrote: W will promise to "step up to the plate" but nothing will happen. She'll wait for me to initiate every move for sex to happen.
tim47 wrote: So then that's where the issue needs to be. Your boundary is around having her initiate. _________________________________
Here's W's usual initiation experience. She'll put on a nightgown and ask if I want to have sex. If I say yes, we start kissing and then she lays back on the bed. She shows no interest in me or my pleasure and gives no hint of what she'd like for herself. No involvement or enthusiasm whatsoever about any part of the process.
The conflict in me is raging throughout the sex. Either I stop and say something about it or continue and feel like a little boy who's being "given something". Frankly, I've done both. Either way her attitude is, "Oh well. I gave you your chance. I did my part."
So, by that definition "initiation" isn't enough for me.
