Agree, There were a lot of changes I observed with new peer group, new clothes, weight loss , going out, new books and music ( she's currently reading Eat,pray love) Fully accept things had got really boring and this was all exciting for her.
There is some realisation of reality in her starting to recognise that she is in a different place to these younger single friends and has voiced need to stay in more, hang out more with other friends who are similar age, have kids etc.
This is also pretty rooted into reality of financial situation, we are both broke now, business is a pressure, she can't spend money on going out, hanging with friends when there is the responsibility of the kids.
The winter also plays a part, she definitely suffers with seasonal depression and is more homely over winter. I have a valid concern she will feel freer and possibly return to going out more with new peers as summer returns.
I have to show more leadership in suggesting things to do with the kids and at the same time get better at turning down some opportunities for family time.
I have some new boundaries to set regarding work and the kids as I feel an undercurrent of disrespect there. Lack of trust, and some controlling/ bossy behaviour.
I've pulled her up twice this week on bossy statements, which she has actually owned and apologised for.
I wonder whether there is a need to make a final statement at next therapy session. After this session we will not be discussing the relationship
I want to communicate I won't be jumping through hoops or waiting to be plan b. I also want to communicate where I stand right now, in terms of being clear that I don't want this seperation, would prefer to work on the relationship but will respect her space.
Don't want to flog a dead horse ,but upcoming meeting seems like a big punctuation in what's happening. And I won't be raising r talks after.
