It’s interesting XW’s repeated desire for group therapy, which includes you in the mix. I wonder how and what she figures that would go down like. I agree this is not the time for that. She’s got some other conversations that need to be have first.
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You know when a couple seperates the kids should be made to love each parent the same no matter what. They shouldn't be made aware of others choices and should not have a word to say about it. They should accept it for what it is.
My XW said the same thing. Yeah, no other choices but to love me and everything I did and do. Oh and no one should have anything to say about it.
My response was that the kids have hearts and minds of their own and know their values and morals. The very traits that she instilled within them over the years. Of course XW didn’t like that.
Irish, I have much empathy and respect for you. Your XW is pretty far off the map.
Your conversation with XW is nothing really new. Same blaming of you by her, and the same deflection from her. I did like the point form, even though it will likely not get through. Although little by little some will eventually seep in.
She repeatedly seems like she wants to contact the girls. Gets consumed by guilt, shame, and fear. Then blames you, since she cannot face her actions. Then a while later, it repeats. This has happened quite a few times.
A positive in all this, every future conversation is a little better than before. Some of those first ones ended with her pretty mad. This current reiteration has her having longer conversations and sort of responding to some of the valid points you make.
I really like the stating of facts, that the girls are adults and their emails and phone numbers are the same as before. Nice and even keeled from you; demonstrating a lot of patience.
It is sad to see how little remorse she shows, how little growth she has achieved. You are correct, she is still far from the light.
Your progress is most evident. Keep shinning.
DnJ
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
