Standing our ground - together as a family

[Irish M]

Hi everyone.

This was an interesting week. With XW's birthday coming up i guess she is feeling the need for her kids. I got a few messages expressing her desire to connect with the girls. If I can help her.

she started with a text.
Hello. I was wondering about the therapy. Group with me and the girls. You can join us as well. to get things moving along. she had mentioned this just before Christmas.

Hi, not sure that would be a good idea just yet. They are currently in their own therapy trying to deal with the abandonment. Sorry to be frank. It is hitting them hard the past few months and they have lot on their plate. Hope your therapy is going good. take care

well Irish. I think its time. You know I am there for them. I want to be involved in their therapy.

I waited the next morning to reply.

XW, i'm sorry but it's not a good idea at the moment. Surely your therapist would agree with me. There will be a time hopefully soon. Have you tried writting them. Their emails havent changed , nor has their cell phones. Let's see how everyones personal therapy goes and discuss it with the therapists. have a good day

So 4 days goes by. No more texts but an email.

Irish, why do I get the feeling that you are trying to manipulate me. You clearly aren't helping the girls and punishing me because I left you is wrong. Keeping the girls from me. You know when a couple seperates the kids should be made to love each parent the same no matter what. They shouldn't be made aware of others choices and should not have a word to say about it. They should accept it for what it is. Why can't we talk like adults. I feel you diminished my choices. The only thing I am angry at you is that. Keeping the girls from me.

They will come back to me and love me, I'll accept them like we were never apart.

P.S. If you write back, I only answer to positive and ignore the negative.

I read this and said to myself. WTF... WOW. she's still very much lost in her alternative reality.

I did reply. How could I not.

XW, I read your email and to be honest I am surprised. How after 4.5 years you can still think I am keeping the girls from you. D19 has her own car she is a free adult woman. If she was ready to face you she would have done so.

your mother wrote me a few months ago. said the same thing word for word about divorece and kids loving each parent. What you both tend to forget is either of you have attempted to see them or reach out to them.

I'm tired of repeating what you did. Maybe some small points will be eariser to understand.

- you told the girls when you left you didn't want to be a mother
- you chose to run instead of comforting your daughters about our seperation.
- choice of guys you dated . If the table was turned You would not encourage the girls to see me.
- never gave them your address where you live.
- only time you did reach out to them was to blame them for your pain. Last email to them was in early 2017
- sent a balif to the house on D19's 18th birthday to take her to court to stop paying her child support of 25$ a month .

so please, enough with the bull. Consider me answering these messages my way of helping. If you don't want to face the truth don't try. I won't entertain you as the victim. I truly hope one day you will figure this all out. take care



She followed my email with a text this evening .

You do know I love the girls. In your heart you know that. My choices of boyfriends and if they have their own issues it is their problem. I am not responsible for their actions or what ever you have heard about them.
have a good night

Actually XW, I question your love for them at this moment. 5 years ago I saw your love and felt it for them. There was action and genuine care.

As for you boyfriend past and present. I'm sorry, you chose them it is your responsibility. If they drink to get drunk , do drug and mistreat women, that is an environment the girls do not need . I agree we are all responsible for our own actions. But there is a thin line on what we introduce to the girls. That is on you.

Lets step back because clearly we are not on the same page. If there is something important about the girls I will let you know. take care .


So next week is her birthday. This will probably fade away into the never happened. I do wish her well. One day it will all come back to her.

No remorse and still blaming the girls and me. Still far from the light

take care everyone.

Irish