And as for being upbeat and fun around H...it is impossible to be that way 100% of the time when he is constantly pissing me off. The best I can manage is being civil and cordial 100% of the time which he truly does not deserve.
I’ve never acted upbeat and fun in front of H for him. If I happen to upbeat and fun it was because I was having fun with the kids. It feels too fake for me if I try to act that way in front of H just to show him. I do the same thing that you do, being cordial and civil. I also don’t GAL in terms of going out at night and spending time outside of the house. I can do it a few times/month but generally I rather stay home at night. I think part of this is you find what kind of DBing works for you.
I’ve been in your shoes...fed up and ready to give up. Give yourself time to determine if that is a feeling that could change, or it is a decision that you’ve arrived at after you’ve done all your thinking. Patience....hang in there.
