OG... No one wanted out more than my wife. If you read my sitch, she was so far gone I had to start mourning her. Even when her EA ended, she started looking for EA#2. She even put up a public profile on a dating site, picture and all, explaining how she couldn't date yet but that her marriage was over and she would be able to date in the near future.
DBing works. In my case it turned my sitch around. As I embraced what she wanted 2 things happened: I started to accept it and be at ease with it. And she started to doubt that it was really what she wanted.
Focus on you. Let him figure out his own stuff.
Wow. Can you tell me what specific DB approaches you used? I mean, I know you have said GAL and detaching. I am wondering if you did things from the DR book, like making goals, acting "as if," etc. Sometimes it gets so confusing in my head trying to juggle it all.
I will keep working on myself and detaching. It is still hard, but I am way better at it than the codependent, pursuing mess I was before.
I stuck pretty close to the book. Acting "as if" works wonders.
The only things I did off script was talk and touch charges. But those do not work on all sitches so be careful with them
My 180s were the biggest things I did. I had gotten bitter, angry and mean. Turning around on that bad behavior and being consistent in it eventually paid dividends.
But GAL and detaching were huge. She went from not caring where I was or what I was doing, to constantly asking me what was wrong. I would always answer in a very upbeat "nothing is wrong, things are great". That confused the heck out of her.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
