what DB approaches are right for me?

[oceangrl]

FlySolo, DejaVu6, and Ready to Change, thank you for your posts and support. I really needed it today. One day I think I can do this, and another, I feel so rejected and hurt I want to stay in bed. This weekend is hard because it hurts more for some reason not to have him hug me in the morning or before we go to bed, or when my kids aren't home and I know in healthy relationships they would no doubt take the opportunity to be intimate but we just watch tv. It's so weird. Keeping my self-esteem up and not having a pity party is a full time job. And limbo [censored]. We sleep in the same bed, all sit in the same pew at church and have family dinner. I feel guilt that from the outside we look like a perfect family. But he rarely touches me. Today he did hug me which came as a surprise. I hugged him back, but did nothing else.

One of the hardestt things for me with detachment is learning how to remain pleasant and not cold.