kas99, I agree, not very honorable to start a new relationship while you are married. Although, she has never been mean to me, and I'm fairly confident she had a one time thing in September with him, then never saw him again until October and that is when she moved out. Not that it makes it any better at all, but it appears once she decided to keep seeing him she cut it off with me. She doesn't put all the blame on me either. I look back at things myself and can see how I really did push her away. We both had major communication issues. For her, she is done now, for me I'm thinking we can build a stronger relationship coming out the other side of this. However, that is assuming she has done any work on herself, not sure where she is at now. The affair, if it's still happening is still not public, so I really don't know if she is still with him or not, just that she hasn't made any attempt to be with me.
LH19, I don't have a lawyer. This is actually my second marriage. My first marriage the divorce was completed with no lawyers and we had a child together, and it all went well. This time around we just have some assets to split which we have discussed and seems like we are agreeable. I will certainly get a lawyer, but if everything is pretty cut and dry and I agree on the terms, do you all feel a lawyer is still needed?
Also in our last conversation, I did tell her I can't continue to be married to her if she is with another man. That's when I gave her the paperwork to look over, it was basically the do it yourself divorce paperwork. I made it clear that's not what I want, just what must happen if she wants to be with someone else. So I guess if she does move forward with the divorce I'll just let her know I won't stand her in way anymore and I need some time to look it over. Basically I had put it on her to make a decision and do the work to get this divorce going if that is what she wants.
