Thank you all; very solid advice. I am glad I put it out there.

I think as Andrew said, I am looking for closure. Seemingly simple this idea of getting closure and yet as it is totally illusive it can cause me to do crazy 8’s.

Thank you all. So very helpful.

Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13
BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself
BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room"
8/15: H back to MBR
10/15: H back in dorm room
1/18: H files, now divorced