Switched On

[HaWho]

I read along in this forum but don’t post often here. I still update in MLC occasionally when something noteworthy happens. My life had become such a telenovella, and in comparison to all that it feels like I really have nothing to post.

Recently (last week) my ex texted me he remarried and that he told my kids to keep it all a secret from me that he was even dating! Ex told me she won’t be coming to any of s’s games to avoid awkwardness?!?! And that’s when I knew she must be his OW he had an affair with; yep. Looked her up online and it’s clear the timeframes match that she was the one he affaired with. His father remarried his OW so it’s in the blood. And just to add some FUN to dysFUNction, both OW (his father’s and his) share the same first name which is not that common. And this is now my kids’ FOO which really messes with my mind.

I know how broken they both must be to be having an affair and have married each other. It still sometimes shock me that this happened to my ex who was a steady sort of fellow. Wow! And it really bother me that this is their stepmom. Psychologically I am guessing ex married his stepmom (even with the same name?!?!).

I guess I feel a bit stuck on something and would love advice. I feel this desire to tell ex that I know he married his affair partner. He has already said he is going to keep us away from each other and in this way I guess he is a vanisher. This woman and I won’t be coparenting together. Who knows what he told her all along to seal the deal. A big issue in my D is that he wanted to agree the marriage ended in 2014 though he lived there (very confused my so) until 2018. So I assume he started dating her in 2015 and wanted to smell like roses. I am sure he is afraid of us meeting assume may figure out true timelines.

Not sure what I hope to get out of telling him I know. I know he won’t apologize. I just don’t want him to think anyone believes this fairytale he’s written in his head. I am pretty sure my kids figured it out too. Feel like it will help me heal.

As for me, I survived a wild ride. I rebuilt a life without him. I am seeing a guy who seems too good to be true. He was recommended by several coworkers and we became friends and then started dating. He asked me to date him exclusively and I said yes. He has been divorced 10 years and did not date seriously at all in that time. He focused on his kids and worked on his career. He told me he had given up on the idea of a partner until he met me. He tells me my ex was a fool to let me go.

Any advice is welcome.