what DB approaches are right for me?

[FlySolo]

OG - first, full disclosure, I have not read your entire thread but the feelings you describe here feel all to familiar and I felt the need to respond and let you know you are not alone.

I know he wants to leave and is trying to figure out how to afford it.

Yes, he is doing this. As I am sure you are too. As am I. As is my H. We all do. This is natural in sitch's which are up in the air. After BD my H set up alerts to notify him whenever a suitable property came up for rent in our area. We had discussed him moving out but I hadn't realised he had gone to the extent at actually looking for properties. It sent me spinning. But you know what, he was just getting his ducks in a row in case he MO. He did MO, but my spinning didn't help it either way, probably made it worse. Don't enable him, but let him get on with it.

My son makes comments about how he wants us to kiss and when it's just me will cry because he is terrified of divorce.

This is where you should concentrate your efforts. Remind him he is loved, he will always be loved, and that nothing will change that. It is tough. Kids always want their parents to stay together, and will try (in their own way) to manipulate their parents. Understand that it isn't helping. Your H doesn't want to touch you and your child encouraging him to do that will feel like emotional blackmail by proxy. So, don't be in the same room. Sit on the opposite side of the table. And don't look sad when your son says things like that. Make a joke of it, "Mummy's just been cutting onions and is a bit smelly at the moment" (but maybe only when you've been cutting onions :)). Defuse and lighten the situation.

And I feel like I have no control over the future ... I don't know what my life will be like in the future.

Stop thinking about the future. Find ways to enjoy the present.

It just gets discouraging at times and I wonder if there are any success stories and if this really does work.

We are all success stories, but maybe not always in the way you are defining success right now. Its difficult to get accurate statistics, many people stop posting (either because they've reconciled or they've moved on) but gut feel tells me only a handful end up reconciling. Those that do continue to post and have reconciled say they are happier now than before (it really is a MR 2.0) and those that have moved on say they are happier now than they were before. OG - you cannot know the future. You have to do the work.

That is the only hope we can give you. That if you do the work, then you will be happier than you were before.

There was a poster who collected all the stories which ended up in R (I can't remember who though). Adam04 is a recent addition to the list. If you go on the Surviving the Big D Forum then you will find a lot of good people who will say they too are success stories.