She is upset that you stood up for yourself and enforced your boundary.
Exactly right. My WAW controlled and manipulated me through four weeks of begging and crying and pleading. The day I stood up for myself (boxed up her drawers and drawers of makeup and took it to her when I picked the kids up) she went berserk.
I think she thought I was going to move out so she could move back in. I finally stood up for myself and showed her that I would start moving on with my life, and because she lost the control - she went crazy. Refused to take her stuff out of my car, so I just left with the children. Then she sent a bunch of texts saying because I was now “obviously throwing her out”, she was going to the house to collect a whole bunch of stuff. I told her not to go in the house (she had signed an assurance) and she went crazy again.
The problem with these narcissists is that they are used to a position in the relationship where they can manipulate you into what they want. As you get stronger and put boundaries in place, it gets very challenging for them.
All the “have a great life” comments are designed to manipulate you back into a position of submission where they win back control. I think you handled it really well. Just say it’s not what you want, but you’ll respect the decision. This is also incredibly hard for them, because what they are looking for in comments such as “have a great life” is a response from you where they can justify their decision to themselves.
Search google for nKNyFSLJy6o and you’ll find three videos about transactional analysis on YouTube. I think they’ll help you to understand what’s going on here. You need to stay calmly in healthy adult despite the attempts to manipulate you down into child. It’s really hard.
