How interesting FS! On your thoughts on the word Flirty.
I think I used to feel the same as you about flirting and expectations. To flirt before when I was partnered was dangerous, I felt it would be cheating (insert hysterical laughter at my naivete). But then I made this new friend, and she is a FLIRT. Capital F. With me but also with others, both straight and non-straight women. She is married, and her W knows her personality. And just because it is part of her personality, and she owns up to it, I see it as a very non-threatening no-expectations kind of communication. She has outright said to me "Hey, if this is ever too much please let me know. It's how I am, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable".
It makes her smile, brings her joy, is a slight tug-of-war game. And then we go home after hanging out and things are chill. This is the first I've ever in my life seen flirting as just a way to have a little fun, as long as it is done in a respectful, honest fashion. And I'm starting to wonder if people were more open about flirting with non-partners, maybe cheating would be less taboo and therefore occur less? You have to have pretty great communication with your partner if you're going to hang out with friends and flirt with them, while your partner is still feeling safe and loved in the R.
It's just something I've been turning around in my head lately, and has really brought me into a space of wanting to flirt and be open/honest in my communications. You are right, of course, about managing expectations. I would never want to give someone the wrong signals, and how you described getting to know someone is in line with something I need to practice as well.
Oh, and you're pretty spot on with my apartment. Only one tiny plant (not enough natural light for more - lots of cozy lamps during the winter), but you've nailed the perpetual coffee & bread smell.
