Kindly and Wooba--thank you for getting it! I'm glad at least my dream made you laugh, Wooba. Sometimes in recounting something H said or did to someone else, I'm able to detach and find some unlikely humor in the situation. Kindly, I think you're right that most people wouldn't take the time to figure out what's really going on/around/under BD. If I wouldn't have found DR and started reading more on relationships and negative sentiment override, etc., I would have been more apt to just accept divorce as nonsensical but inevitable, and to believe everything he said at BD about me and about our relationship, even when it seemed not to add up. (And I do still struggle with that from time to time, because it's hard not to passively internalize the statements of someone you have spent years trusting unconditionally.).
Wooba, you sound like you're further along in acceptance than I am! I too feel that BD was a wake-up call, that we needed changes in our relationship. For the first time, I'm able to understand what those changes need to be and how to move toward them. The thing I'm not quite embracing yet is that H sees BD as the end, rather than the beginning of a much stronger, more communicative M. I see so much possibility!
Sometimes in recounting something H said or did to someone else, I'm able to detach and find some unlikely humor in the situation. Kindly, I think you're right that most people wouldn't take the time to figure out what's really going on/around/under BD. If I wouldn't have found DR and started reading more on relationships and negative sentiment override, etc., I would have been more apt to just accept divorce as nonsensical but inevitable, and to believe everything he said at BD about me and about our relationship, even when it seemed not to add up. (And I do still struggle with that from time to time, because it's hard not to passively internalize the statements of someone you have spent years trusting unconditionally.). 