Patience and Limbo (Core thread 3)

[ovrrnbw]

Thank you for the responses yesterday. I started an R chat yesterday, trying to get transparency on what happened previously while also voicing how I've felt. Stupid in my book now that i look back. I read up on piecing elsewhere where they talk about going through the past hurts and clearing the air. The more I reflect, the more I see DB rules and advice have been superior thus far.

I believe I almost pushed W back to saying we should end it. I switched subjects but I also despise how D is used as a weapon against me for control. If we repair, would she always threaten to leave....maybe. I find it disrespectful yet we are or said we were working on respect.

I'm back in limbo, maybe worse off than a month or two ago. Follow the rules.

I cant find the same patience and strength many of you have. How in times like this did you pull together so much patience? We've now had 3 chats that were not productive since our reconcile chat. I'm scared to be honest. I hurt almost as much as 3 weeks after BD. Its almost like she asked for D all over again.

I still dont think she wants the D, at least not 100 percent. How can the WW not see how much damage they are causing. Even with counseling, I can see myself getting PTSD over this.

Change your mindset from weak and negative to strong and positive. Quit letting people's words control you.