Newlywed and in crisis

[funbun]

Hi DB Forum, I feel like writing my thoughts down

Not much to update; I am still living separately from my W. Didn't contact her at all. Trying to GAL. Trying to give her space and time to calm down and think things through. Maybe I'll give her a week or two, then I'll contact her and ask how she is doing.

One thing that I haven't mentioned here is that W and I work at the same place. Even though we are living separately, we often cross paths when at work. When we do, we often avoid eye contact or give a weak smile when we pass by each other. I hate this. I hate that it has come to this, the fact that my wife is like a stranger to me.

I have also come to realize how difficult it is to detach for real. My mood and mentality frequently shifts in and out between "I want my wife back badly" and "it's okay, I can let go". One moment I am p!ssed at my W and then the next moment I feel empathetic to what W is going through. I do GAL, but I can't help but think about W and my sitch. I just hope that eventually I will get over it.

At work, I have to pretend everything is okay. Especially in front of W. Trying not to show her that I am actually feeling down inside. I think she is doing the same thing too; pretending to be happy around people when I am there. It's hard.