What is done in the shadows eventually comes to the light.
Or becomes compost. I think my ex is still working on keeping everything buried even though she lives with OM (as far as I know). She has her narrative so I understand. Maybe after all these years she actually believes it. Dunno.
Originally Posted by Pax_luv
While it is unfortunate, I think some mlcrs have no choice but to marry their APs. Their actions are so shameful (whether they feel shame or not) that they have to prove to everyone around them they made the right choice in blowing up their lives.
Agree with this quite a lot. I would also add that for many of them, there's not a lot of other choices out there either of people who have the shaky enough morals to have an affair along with the fact that most MLCr sorts tend to degrade physically and financially. There are of course exceptions to this. I remember musing when she was in the middle of her affair and keeping me hanging on the "who'd want her" and "he'll get tired of her and her nonsense soon enough". Turned out I was wrong though.
I expect that things will be very very tense for the man formerly known as Mr. HaWho and more so for his new Mrs as she struggles to keep hold of him and pretzel herself in to whatever it is that he thinks he wants that day.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
My XH D and got M to OW 14 years younger a few months after the ink dried they also M with very few in attendence the shame of the affair and they had no real friends I guess
but you know how these stories go... not very well for the MLCer most seem to decline and decline more over time
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
Pax - been thinking about your armchair diagnosis and yes, it makes sense they would be looking for legitimacy. Personally, I think no one attended because they don’t have many friends. She has just a few contacts per social media, seems to have no family. And his own kids did not attend as it was “private!”
Yes, KML he is the one who had food/poisoning issues. Several people say she looks very much like me but rougher and sort of unhealthy.
Job, yes, I know. Patterns are uncanny.
Andrew - hah! Love your wit as always. But before it becomes compost doesn’t it still come to the light?!?! Chicken or the egg question!
Peace - just curious, how long did that marriage last before they divorced? And was she the first OW?
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Because my XH left with No contact, I dont have accurate time lines he does not keep in touch with his family either..
But I can tell you I received calls/messages over the years from various sources that their M was in shambles and both very unhappy
They are both addicts still will no recovery, and A few years back a few close friends of XH called and spoke to him, upon his request, several times.. They all confirmed to me, he wanted out of the M
But his once best friends could not help him They felt that I he was unreachable , a real mess and his OW wife was absolutely nuts they all let him go
I soon heard they soon got D, but Im not sure if they are back together
In My situation, I would --never say never, but I am very doubtful XH will ever find himself again
married 14 years H 42 bomb 2/07 IDLYA D final 3 /09 M ow D ow
For those who remember my ex’s obsession with XMAS (he kept an artificial tree in his self made dorm room through spring one year and played carols on Easter), I have a funny update.
I rarely pick up my kids from his place; usually he does the drop off, and enthusiastically so, probably to reduce the chance that Mrs. OW and I have a chance meeting. Heaven forbid we compare timelines. Wink wink.
Anyway, picked up my kids the other day and sure enough, there was a large decorative candy cane in front of his house still! And, in one of the living room windows I saw colored XMAS lights strung like it was a dorm room. Job, hope this gives you a chuckle!
Looks like he is still going through a special time in his life!
So thankful to be free of it all.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Okay...I just about died laughing. He's still into the holiday mode. Maybe he thinks the lights and candy canes will guide the Easter Bunny to his place in April! LOL! Some things may never change.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I actually feel rather sorry for her based on this description. It sounds like he has "rescued" a poor little mouse who will be taught to be ever so grateful to him for every crumb and to never never never have her own voice.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
