I was just reading that list you posted and I want you to know that you can change/control all of that! Also I’ve noticed that you place a lot of focus on your W. You need to learn to stop worrying about her and put that focus inward.
I knows it’s way easier said then done. It took me months, battling my thoughts and anxiety wondering about W. Then one day it just clicked. I realized that I can only control my actions and that despite how you feel, your W will make her own choices regardless. Once you can learn to accept this lack of control, things will get a lot easier for you.
I’ve found the beauty of detachment is that I rarely feel sad or worried anymore. I’ve accepted that somethings are out of my control and I’ll tell you it is freeing to finally let go.
It will take time but fake it till you make it. When I found myself wondering what W was up to, if she was manipulating or lying to me, I would just repeat in my head “you can only control yourself and your actions.” Eventually you just have to let go.
Continue to 180 and always have a PMA, but realize that your focus at this time should be on yourself and your children! Good luck buddy.
