I've been struggling with that too. I'm a homebody. So at first going out all weekend was killing me. This is going to sound so stupid but please bear with me. I saw a psychic and she said it's my home. I know I want to be there. He doesn't that's his problem. She "saw" that I had stopped cooking. I love cooking but cooking to me means love so I stopped after BD. She said get back in that kitchen and cook, listen to YOUR music. Sing, dance. Fill that space with you. And god was she right. I've found out GALing isn't just being out. I live in a place with a lot of snow so I've had to hunker down a couple of weekends. I plan what I'm going to do and do it. I'm going to read. I'm going to cook. I'm going to live the hell in my home and not on eggshells. The teens come in my room and lay in bed and watch movies with me if I'm not hauling them around. Last snow in I took over the main bathroom for hours to take a lovely bath with candles. I realized as I was soaking it was a big not intentional FU to the H. You wanna get ready to go see your gf better grab your crap and find a good mirror 'cause this is my bathroom right now. Also I guess you're washing up in the sink to go out. It wasn't intentionally petty. It was me refusing to not live in my own house. I make sure I go out at least 1 night. Just to prove that I have a damn life too. But honestly taking my home back really helped with detaching. Hard to care what he's doing with a glass of wine in a lavender bath.
Wayfarer, you ROCK. HesAble-- you can do this! (I will too!!)
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
