Don't beat yourself up. You didn't "blow it" and we all make mistakes. She sounds all over the place. One night she's planning a romantic evening, the very next morning she's telling you "have a great life". She is confused.
I think Steve85 has a great saying for this but it eludes me. Something about how until your partner is consistent in her actions and words, you won't know how she truly feels. If you are confused, you won't know. While you are confused, continue to DB. So assume you don't know what she wants, and keep doing what you need to do for yourself.
As part of that, yes, I think removing yourself from R conversations is best to protect yourself and relieve pressure from the whole situation. It is soooooo hard in the moment when you get those texts. They know how to rile us up and get a response. Try implementing a rule that you won't reply in those situations for some amount of time. Or come here and ask for advice. As much as they can make it feel like an emergency, they are NOT emergencies.
I know in the moment you feel like a ship in the storm, at the mercy of the raging seas. In the moment it can feel either like "she's back!" or "all is lost". The reality is she is confused, and the more you dive into her world, the more you are at the mercy of her yo-yo see-saw drama.
Hang in there, you're doing great. Things will get better one way or another.
