Through The Storm III

[KristinG]

Well guys - I blew it. Went for evening plans with WW and all was going so well. She had drawn a hot bath for me when I arrived, picked up a few small thoughtful gifts at the store, and made me dinner. Very romantic and sweet. We had a few too many cocktails and a relationship talk ensued. I asked if she was still speaking with OW. She said yes, everyday. I got emotional and told her that I am trying to have patience, but that we will never work as long as OW is in the picture. I told her exactly what I need to make this work.

Her head is still all over the place. She says that it's getting easier to not talk to OW, but that she feels guilty for hurting her. That she has this need to check in on her everyday to make sure that she is ok. I'm not proud, but I let my frustration at the whole situation show. It hurts to hear her tell me about her feelings for OW. It is like she feels like I should be thankful that she is here and working on us (in her mind she's working on us). I told her we aren't working on anything as long as OW is in the picture. I told her that she's been having her cake and I'm done serving my share.

This morning she was distant and cold. Left for work. She text me to let me know she made it work and she won't be bothering me anymore. I replied that I love her and that I hope she fights for us and works through it. She said that she feels it's best to just move our separate ways. Nothing is ever going to be good enough and that I deserve better. Ended with a "have a great life". I sent her a final message in return stating that I understand if she feels that way, she is enough and the one I want to spend my life with, but that with things as they currently are we will never be able to make it work. Gosh, this s*cks. I know I'm still going to be ok, but I would be lying if I said that I didn't have my hopes up and put expectations on reconciliation. I feel like an idiot.

KG