I am very glad that the conversation w/your sons went okay. As for the "new" wife, he sure picked a winner and is definitely following the pattern of his father. He has done exactly what my xh did. It is truly sad how they go about their lives. It will be interesting to see if she posts on her FB page now that the cat is out of the bag.
You are doing so well and your sons will always know that you are there for them.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
