I find it a bit sinister that your H has been looking through your documents. The house might still be legally his as well as yours so he's allowed to go in, but that doesn't extend - as you know - to him messing about with your personal things and reading your documents. He's obviously very anxious about what a legal divorce or separation would mean for him. I think you're probably reading him exactly right - this is about his need to feel in control - but surely the point of a separation of the type that he has been seeking and going through is that each person gets more autonomy and privacy and the boundaries between them are more defined. I know you know this. I think this is a case of him wanting to have his cake and eat it. It seems a sign it would be much better for you to have your own living space that he can't waltz into as if he owns it - because he doesn't. I think, even though you've been separated for a while, that achieving that would be a very big change to your dynamic and may trigger some more unpleasant behaviour from him. How do you think he'll respond when he can't come in, do kitchen-type things and sit on the sofa watching telly for a while (as I am sure you would not dream of doing in his space)?
