Samcal, thanks for your post. I guess I'm doing ok with being patient and finding compassion and I shouldn't expect that to be easy given the circumstances.
You're sentence about her not being able to show up emotionally for me because she' can't for herself yet makes sense and hits home.
We've talked enough about mental illness and depression (me and my W) that I'm pretty sure this is more about what she's going through rather than our relationship.
She has said some very interesting things regarding a potential future with each other recently (in a positive way) but I try really hard not too read anything into it.
I think the more I focus on myself and our son and just give her the space without pressure the more chance we'll have of R down the road.
Time will tell.
Jac - only just started following your sit, but a lot of what you write about hits close to home.
W telling me not to hold out hope. To move on with my life. That there is no (known current) OM, though there may have been a while ago. The fact that she cannot show up emotionally right now, but still attempts to do civil/nice things occasionally. That she really (really!) needs her own space right now.
Mine is a bit different in that there has been a nearly complete communication shutdown. It was extremely bad a year and a half to a year ago. I've seen small steps of improvement- at a glacial pace, but they are there.
I'm as patient as I can be, given it's been 17 months of this. I dont know what specifically "this" is, though it has signs of being MLC, depression/mental illness, menopause, thyroid issues, WAS, etc. I have my own baggage that I unwittingly brought to the MR that I'm dealing with for the past year and a half, which did not help when she was distancing. I'm very grateful to have found this forum. It helped keep me sane.
Standing isn't easy. And you never know how much your patience can get tested until you are in a situation like this.
Anyway - I see some positive signs in your sit - good for you Celebrate the small victories, and keep on with your GAL.
Celebrate the small victories, and keep on with your GAL.