Hawho - ex takes on the minimum and subtracts a few hours from it (80/20 split). If there were any changes to that agreement he wouldn’t have to pay more based on the laws. He pays the standard CS formula. If he got a raise and I didn’t and my costs went up - I could take him back to court for an adjustment. And I don’t know if the legal fees would be worth it because I don’t think he can pay. Like he asks me to wait before cashing the checks so they don’t bounce I live in a ridiculously expensive area so his child support wouldn’t even cover rent in an illegal basement apartment even if it was further away from the city. He’s not even paying me what he should be as is. He owes a lot.
The thing is, he thinks he’s doing a great job. He doesn’t know what real parenting is. He’s basically a baby sitter that pays me. And puts in a little bit of input and feels good about it. He has minimal responsibility and no real “adulting” as CL calls it. And it’s frustrating. I’m embarrassed that my son has a dad like that when I compare him to other dads. But ex and his mom don’t see that. They think he’s great.
Anyway, my relationship is great. But I need to get my act together and become more structured and organized. I’m frustrated with myself. I’m not living up to my potential. I think it’s an adhd thing. I just struggle unless I’m in a structured environment - but it has to be structured by someone else. And there’s so much I want to do. It’s just the doing and organizing of time. I can’t function unless under stress from procrastination. I can’t even keep track of what ex owes me cause I’m disorganized and he knows that and hopes I will forget. Ugh. I get so mad at myself.
