Physical space helps. It is still very hard but not seeing him will help you start to move forward without him. I don’t blame you for asking him to move out although I’m not sure how many women would be okay with dating a guy who still lives with his wife. I suppose they are out there though. Hopefully he finds out the grass isn’t exactly greener on the other side. Regardless...focus on you and GAL. It will help. (((HUGS)))
Hi there - I actuallly am starting to feel way better in many ways. There was so much confusion for me in his actions... he says the reason we don't live together now is because we reacted to each other... I am firm that the reason we don't live together is because he was very clear he does not want to be married or to have any of those commitments. Our tension revolved around his desire to be free to date and trying to separate our bills.
Now that he is out, although I feel very sad in many ways, I also feel like I am finally able to process my feelings and move on with GAL. I do miss him. But I do NOT miss the tension - the tension between me wanting to work on the marriage and he being extremely firm that we are over... and us behaving as if we were married.
I do not think he would have started dating anyone any time soon - but it was my one ask - my one boundary if we were going to continue to live togehter, was to have 3 months of no dating. He did not want boundaries.
I am now reading the Divorce Remedy. It makes a ton of sense... especially the stages of connecting. We seem to be extremely text book, just like most people. There was no violence or cheating... or anything. Just poor communication patterns.
I finally understand my boundaries and should have done this before Christmas.
I can only control (of course) what I am able to do, which is take care of me and my son. Fortunately, I have the means to do that.
As far as contact goes, I don't think I am ready to spend time with him. I still need to go through my anger and healing process for a while. Does anyone else have experience with this? Taking time away for themselves to heal and GAL, limiting contact and things working out in the long run?
Me 41 H 34 Son 3.5 Married almost 4 years West Coast of Canada
