what DB approaches are right for me?

[oceangrl]

Just watched most of it today. Man, it really takes rewiring your brain to adopt a new healthy outlook.

This morning, I felt like not getting out of bed. Limbo, being unwanted for so long, is hard. It is draining and exhausting. But I sat and looked out the window and started "talking" to myself. That I would be okay. That I will be happy. That I cannot see my worth based on his view of my worth. That I cannot validate myself through him. I try to use words like "empower" and "opportunity." I pray a lot. It is a constant fight right now. It's nice to see here that I am not the only one doing the same thing every day, although I am sorry we all have to do it!

Hi OG I have had a bad day too, I’m thinking of you ! You are worth far more and you know it, but it’s hard , I know how bad you feel right now. I can’t offer any DB tips - leave that to the experts- but as far as feeling your pain, I’m with you. I don’t know why we hold out for people who show us no love, respect, etc. It’s not making much sense right now! Keep believing in yourself and remember how awesome you are!

Thank you so much for your support and kindness! These days are hard. But rather than drowning in the sucking hole of discouragement, I am trying so hard to rewire my brain and do things differently. Its such a good question you asked -- why do we hold out for people who show us no love, respect, etc. It's something I've been really thinking about. What an I worth? I think what i do like about so many of the tips here is that it helps us find our self-respect again. I mean, how would my H ever respect me if I don't respect myself? If I am okay with being nothing more than a Plan B, and settling for crumbs of love that get thrown out here and there. I've been doing this exact thing for three years. Which is a little embarrassing.

We live in the same house, sleep in the same bed, but there is little affection. We talk, etc, and he helps with the kids and around the house. But he definitely has an emotional wall built up that he will not let me near. I have been throwing myself against this wall over and over, no matter how it beats my body up. But I am finally realizing that I can only control myself and my feelings. And my happiness. I've been working hard on being pleasant but not pursuing. I am determined to keep going, no matter how scary and new it can be.