OwnIt, kml, thanks so much for these thoughts. I'll expand a bit more on points you brought up:
Progressive community property state, yes. No separate property. I received a grant at one time, but it went into our savings account, so I'm sure it's community property too.
House/pets: I really have no idea if H will want pets or to stay in the house. He hasn't moved out and hasn't paid much attention to either since BD, but I can see him not wanting to face the reality of moving out and other changes a D would necessitate from him. I want to be ready for the possibility that he would suddenly insist on staying in house with pets, since I have no idea what to expect of him anymore. We've lived here for a long time with no rent increase, and the landlord is wonderful. I'm sure he knows I want the pets, but I'm not sure what he thinks my feelings are about the house.
Income and and budgeting: without going into too much detail, I'll say that I teach at the college level very part-time and in my field full-time jobs are non-existent; PT does not begin to pay for a life here. H has always supported me and encouraged me to pursue my own projects in between teaching gigs, so I was not prepared at all for the sudden possibility of having to support myself entirely. Right before BD I got a PT minimum wage job to help us save more money, and I've since increased hours to full-time, which would only cover current rent and a bit more, which is why I need spousal support, at least in the meantime. I could also look into getting a roommate if I needed to. Moving out will only mean higher rent. I've had a couple of interviews for career jobs and am hopeful I will be able to find something that will support me in the next six months.
H was really relaxed about money and never wanted to make a budget--it's an argument I let him win. What did I care--I trusted him completely! Now of course it's a problem that I've never had access to our savings account (!). I have been making a list of bills that I'll need to budget for as they come up.
