I don’t really have much to say about the current situation but just wanted you to know I am following along my friend. Hoping you and H can find a good solution to this annoying problem. Also happy to hear that D13 is doing better and mornings are good. Maybe she has a crush on a boy at school...lol. I know that was the one thing that always got me up and out of bed as a teen and ready to face the day...:D. Not trying to give you something else to worry about...lol. (((HUGS)))
#1 - update your password. He doesn't need to be finding this site in your history or your emails to solicitors
#2 - "damage control": Maybe still send the email in your edited/solicitor approved layout when you see fit and feel confident in it. Do you need to talk to him about what you wrote (or does he feel the need to talk to you about it?). I vote just be upfront and honest.
"I was writing out options to gain clarity, and still editing to appropriately reflect my thoughts to you in a clear manner. Please consider the recent email sent to be my current opinions and thoughts on the situation"
And if he brings up anything in the "old" version that isn't in the "new" version just repeat the above. That you were still in the process of being sure you expressed yourself clearly, but he had read a draft that you revisited for accuracy.
Did he say something about it? How did you know he read it?
Note: DON'T RUSH your conversations with him just because he got a sneak peek. Still wait to be sure you've consulted your soliciter and are confident in your answers. He can wait, and don't be pressured to give your opinion right away. You have a right to legal advice, though he doesn't need to know that's the reason for the delay. He may guess. Let him.
You are still on your timeline, not his. Stay firm if you aren't ready to lay it all out yet.
I drafted it in a word document which was saved on my desktop as "Info". When I logged in this evening it was showing in my recent items as being opened today at 4:12 (when I was at work). There were 2 other files opened. 1 was our mortgage agreement and another a screen print one of my kids took of a toy they wanted. I think he just looked at my recent opened items and opened the last two items and the other one titled "[our last name] - Mortgage Agreement".
He had to come by today to pick up football boots for D13. He is on standby and (didn't get called in) so offered to pick them up from school and take them to training. I agreed as would mean I didn't have to leave work early. He would have been on his own as D13 goes to her friends house on Wed and D10 has a club at school which doesn't finish until 4:30.
He didn't mention it when he dropped them off. Just gave me their bags, exchanged some logistical stuff about the kids (D10 felt unwell at school, the dog has been for a walk but not had any dinner and he hasn't had a chance to check their homework) and then drove off.
My desktop is used by the kids so they have my password (it's my name). I've never been too concerned as I don't do much on my desktop but use the internet (which clears history each day). The draft info doc is the first document I've written on here and the only reason the mortgage doc was on here was I opened it from my email the other day and it saved to my downloads folder.
*** the kids have their own profiles but there are quite strict parental controls on it so that I have to authorise every new web page they use (even news paper sites). It got to be a pain, so I just let them use mine. I will change it though. I might set up a new profile, call it family (no kid protection) and then let them use that instead.
I am going to pretend I don't know and carry on as planned.
I do fear he knows about this forum and lurks in the background. Previously I would use my work laptop - which he can't access but stopped being so vigilant when I started posting again, mainly because I stopped caring whether he read my posts or not. But I guess, as we are hitting what appears to be a storm, I need to start being careful again.
We have been getting quite a few concerns about spouses looking at postings that the posters post here. I have several suggestions for those who are concerned:
1. Go in and change your display name; and/or
2; Create a new name and start a new thread, but don't provide as much info as you have in your previous threads. Be sure to notify the moderators of who you were previously so that we can get you off moderation as quickly as possible.
Cadet may have some other suggestions.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I mighr cut down on the H stuff and focus instead on my kids and non LBS aspects of my life, much like DV. I have been here a while now, and my H occupies little of my thoughts (other than this past week or so) so perhaps I am ready to move my thread elsewhere ?!!!
