Unchien - I'm sorry this has been tough for you. Nope not dramatic. Just human.
Those of us here with kids have at one time or another posted something similar. DV (and she is one of the most grounded and compassion people here) dedicated quite a lot of her earlier threads to the impact of her H leaving on her children. You will, if you go back through my earlier threads, find some similar posts in mine.
The only way I could help my kids through it was to not burden them with my sadness and to make sure they knew they were loved by both of us . I can't underplay how hard but necessary this was. I pretended to be happy when they left to spend the day with him. I would ask them each time what they did and get excited as they told me stories of how much fun they had as a family . I would smile, say "have a great time" and wave as they left to spend the day at a theme park. Once the door was shut I would sit on the sofa and think how much fun they were having without me. When they returned, I'd smile, ask them lots of questions and respond with "wow, that sounds amazing".
Your feelings are valid and should be felt and expressed. Express them here.
You are also right in thinking your children are impacted by what has happened. It is your job to minimise that impact. The family unit may be broken but they still have two parents. And as long as those parents continue to love them then they will come out the other side less scathed. If the other parent is still I crazy town and forgets that they are parents, then it is our job to make up the difference.
Focus not on what they have lost, but what remains. The love of two parents. That is worth something.
As an aside, over the course of the 6 months before BD and up to and including when he moved out, my H had been steadily distancing himself from the children. He was not only angry with me, he would yell and scream at them for no reason. Once he moved out something clicked and he refocused and really prioritised them. I am grateful for that. My kids will say the same.
