WW dropped S bomb

[Drh2001]

Sounds like a pretty productive meeting. What exactly are your goals?

Why do people think there are rules to separation? There aren’t even rules to marriage.

LH19, I would like to save the marriage but have stopped all pursuing and R talks. I'm doing 180s and GAL. It takes time to put this all in place.

[AnotherStander]

We had a blazing row last night. WW said she didn't know if she could commit to the separation agreement beacause, in her own words, "what if I fall in love?"

I looked back through your thread but could not find where you talked about a separation agreement, were you trying to get her to agree not to date while separated? If so then you can't really enforce that. We were just discussing this in another thread but when you separate you can't realistically establish relationship rules in S, because there isn't a relationship anymore.

I am fully prepared to expose her to her family if she defaults on the agreement. She hasn't told anyone yet.

For what purpose? Revenge? It won't do any good. Her family will side with her no matter what. You'll end up looking like the bad guy (petty, vindictive, etc. etc.) if you try to "out" her.

Not sure where to go from here.

Give yourself some time to settle down and think about things more clearly. Use time effectively.

[LH19]

D,

This is going to take a really long time to play itself out.

[Drh2001]

AnotherStander,

We signed the agreement at the beginning of the year. It does allow dating but not bringing dates back to the house.

You're prob right about exposure. I need to think on this.

I'm going to stay out of her way - as it is I avoid being in the same room as her.


LH19, Unfortunately I have to agree with you.

[LH19]

Are you in a nesting arrangement?

[Drh2001]

Are you in a nesting arrangement?

No, it's an in-house agreement.

[LH19]

So your in house separation and she wants to bring a dude over WTF?????

[Drh2001]

So your in house separation and she wants to bring a dude over WTF?????

She told me she wants to start dating immediately - started dieting and created a dating profile.

I can't control her behavior but I can only control my actions which are difficult when she is having "buyers remorse" over a document that she agreed and signed with me

[Drh2001]

She even told me she wants a guy who has kids but doesn't want anymore kids.

She's totally off the wall if you ask me.

[LH19]

Oh boy! She has no respect for you. Have you asked her to move out?