I’m sorry that you are feeling down right now. My H has said the same thing when he mentioned D - it’s just a piece of paper! It’s just a form to fill out! I actually agree with the former, yes at this point our M is indeed only binded by contract, a piece of paper, an intangible computer file even. When you start looking at it that way, maybe it could be less scary for you to accept D. The M is already over. But the relationship will never end because you are forever bonded by your daughter.
It is not wrong to have hope, but you need to be brutally honest with yourself about the reality too - that M might not be what your one version of your hope is. With that said, you can have many kinds of hope- hope of R, hope of becoming a stronger HopeCA in the end even H might not be in the picture anymore, hope that you will be the best mom you can be to your daughter, hope that life will work out somehow. Hope is not the enemy, delusion is.
