We locked our selves into the closet of an office we have today. Of course we came out to see patients, otherwise we were locked away. Day 1 down. I fear the interview because it’s a phobia. I do not do well on the spot with people asking me questions like an interrogation. I hate public speaking. I just become a stutterer. You should see what I do around really good looking guys, it’s even worse! Today was just another crazy busy day where I got out late.
So this new guy only has his daughter every other weekend and we are on opposite weekends. I can’t wrap my head around why a father would only see his kid every other weekend ( which my ex does with the exception of 4 extra nights on the month) I am not going to judge yet..... but I can barely get a date to happen with opposite weekends. Anyways, I told him my child schedule and that we are on opposite weekends and replied “ great! Guess that’s that!” Oh well. I face plenty of challenges in this OLD world with majority custody . And I’m not willing to bend for anyone who doesn’t bend for me anymore. So I guess that’s that.
And not to hijack anyone’s thread anymore. I’ll place this here. I mentioned on J’s thread that knew my R wasn’t really all that good when I looked at the way J appreciated and treated the Dr. and how M did not appreciate me and treated me like an afterthought. I will never go back there anymore. I deserve to be treated like J’s doctor.
And dawn. About my feelings towards The ex’s wife. I know she must have stepparent struggles. I know they aren’t one big happy family. But to look at the 3 of them plastered on FB..... the memory of how they came to be that kicks me in the gut sometimes. The truth behind those pictures I only know. And it is upsetting.
And to speak to the the thoughts on whether their ex is happy or not.... I knew I was totally over my ex when I didn’t think or care anymore if he was happy or unhappy. I know many people soothe themselves by the thought of their ex’s being unhappy after their decision to divorce . That doesn’t soothe me at all. And if he is very happy? That doesn’t anger me anymore either. Because I know that I was not happy with him. Maybe the only thing I derive is that I’m not crazy. Because he hasn’t changed. He treats me better than he ever did, honestly, but that’s because I’m not his wife. He treats his women very poorly. I’m not his anymore.
I’m still just lonely and overwhelmed as ever. Maybe I just need to hold out until D has graduated high school. I’ll have more freedom and flexibility then. I’m not counting on much happening until then.
