Through The Storm III

[KristinG]

Thanks Blu! I am reading through it and have a lot of questions. I am still not considering us "piecing" and more in the process of reconciliation at the moment. The quote from Jack3Beans and Cadet really resonates with me. When both parties are committed, or say they are, give it a few weeks or months to see if it's true. THIS is where I'm at. It has been so great spending the last couple of weeks together, and friends made a comment to me that WW finally seems more like herself. I guess a big part of me is still scared this won't stick and so I'm not letting any walls down yet. One thing I don't know how to approach is transparency. While I don't believe WW is seeing AP (I have spent every night with her since the start of reconciliation), I do know that OW has been reaching out. We were in the car this weekend when her phone Bluetooth announced a new message from OW on the touchscreen. We were on the way to dinner with friends, so awkward to say the least. WW promptly turned off her Bluetooth and made a quiet comment about it not being her problem anymore. The next day she pulled open her text messages sitting beside me and my eyes caught that it was pulled up to her text thread with OW. So my gut is saying that she is pulling away from AP, but it's clear they are not completely NC. She is still very clear in telling me that she is done with AP and only wants a future with me. We'll see.

In other news, I start IC this week - woot! I am excited to get some guidance in setting more goals for self improvement. I also want to strengthen my coping mechanisms so that if I'm ever faced with another situation similar to this, I am stronger and more level headed. We all have our own journey, but I feel like I have been an emotional wreck off and on for a year of my life. I don't want anyone to be able to influence my emotional well being to that extreme ever again. Rephrase: I don't want to allow anyone to influence my emotional state to that extreme. I hope you are all doing well!

KG