[Pommy99]

That is what GAL is for. Right now your W feels like she is under a microscope. You are watching her in minute detail. "Oh, she actually winked at me..maybe things are better! Oh she didn't ask about my day, she hates me an wants nothing to do with me!" My W even described this dynamic as feeling like an animal in the zoo: I was watching her trying to learn her behavior. So when you go out and GAL, they don't feel like they are under a microscope. Try this for a week. Come home from work. Spend time with your kids, don't even interact with her except pleasantries. If she asks about your day "Oh it was okay." Things like that. After the kids are down for the night, go to the gym. Go hangout with a friend. Go to the shooting range. Go kick around a store. Try that for a week or two.

I am terrible at micro analysing everything, e.g “he said let’s buy a new bookshelf, nobody buys furniture if they’re leaving” kind of thing. It’s been so hard to learn not to do that. Shortly after I first found out about my H’s EA , he accidentally butt-dialled me one night from a bar when he was out with her. He said to her “I feel like I’m being watched”. ( Well no sh1t, Sherlock, you just butt dialled me for 10 mins!!) but he was right, I was watching his every move, picking up on every date/time/location/comment/facial expression. And it was unhealthy, I actually felt more in control when I stopped Thinking about the micro details and just relaxed a bit more. Thanks for spelling that Out Steve, never really thought of it from their POV.