Hope ~ I think you are approaching your emotions in a healthy way... let the fear and anxiety and sadness be. Don't push them away, but don't wallow in them either. The only way to deal with them is to be with them.
Your H's confusing statements sound familiar to other sitches here. Maybe it's part of a common dynamic for the WAS to both want the D, but want to keep some part of the MR there too. It's incredibly confusing.
In my younger days, I had awful NG tendencies. I recall breaking up with a long-term GF, feeling really bad about it, and suggesting we could be close friends still. What she deserved was to hear the honest truth: I didn't see a future in us, even though I thought she was a great person. Instead, I doled out little pieces of hope that just confused her and made the ending drag out longer. I wanted to let her down, but softly, because it made ME feel less guilty about it. It was not respectful to her.
I'm not suggesting this is what is happening in your situation, because I don't know.
No matter what they say, the WAS will always miss part of the MR. They may cling to those parts they like. Unfortunately this isn't a la carte dining.
