We are just shy of 2 months since bomb drop and he says he wants to move but not until April. I can't tell you how relieving it was that he picked a date to go. Trust me. I want my husband. Well not this one but one kinda like the old one. And my marriage. Also not this one. But I'm so much more stable and able to deal with his BS when he's gone. Honestly him disappearing for hours upon hours is a relief to me at this point. It's hearing those keys in the door that causes my anxiety to rise. Same thing like last night. Home, being helpful dad and pleasant roommate. That's what makes my blood pressure rise and forces me to act positive and calm to cover all the garbage in my head. I think about an OM everyday. Granted in my situation there is a very evident OW. But I know it will solve nothing except maybe the serious lack of friction in my sheets since all this started, which was about a month before BD.
You need to start planning how you'd survive with out him. Things you need to do if he weren't there. If the income wasn't there. Granted you'd get a separation order for sure to help you out. The best thing I've done for myself is act AS IF he's leaving and never coming back. I won't be solvent when he says he's ready to go. But I'm working on being able to cover that gap if he does go and won't help. Making moves to survive his exit is a time and mind suck. It is definitely focusing on you and the kids. And if you get to the point where you have to be the bad guy for your mental health and emotional well being and tell him he's gotta go or you will at least you'll be ready and have teeth behind that threat.
